'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)' review

Originally written the week of November 10th/03

Rating: * out of ****

It is such a shame when a once great piece of work is diminished and destroyed by those who wish to cash in on it a second time. I am referring to those who drool at the chance to make a sequel, or two, or three, or a prequel, or a remake. It has happened a million times. Some recent examples are The Matrix, Star Wars, Batman, Bad Boys, Terminator (I’m referring to T3, not T2 which is amazing!) among many others. The example I’m making here is the new and reprehensible version of the Tobe Hooper classic “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”.

The original “Massacre” was as original as horror films come for the time it was released. In 1974, the audience was exposed to a horrific array of suspense and horror with an unrestrained attitude. By today’s standards, we might not find it as scary, but then again neither many do not find The Exorcist scary anymore. However, if you see it now for the first time or if you are just a fan, you will still see a truly shocking movie that features very little gore and more than a little social commentary about the dark side of the American family. Hooper practically gave birth to the slasher movie with his original design. Over the past 29 years, it has been revamped, remade and recycled so many times that a genuine remake (not a sequel, as many had thought) comes off as a copy of the copies.

That is exactly what director Marcus Nispel did with the remake - produced another copy. We should not be surprised after all considering that he is the protégé of Michael Bay. Moreover, that is just what this film looks like – Michael Bay doing a horror movie. Perhaps Jerry Bruckheimer would not let Bay do a horror movie, so he decided to live vicariously through his protégé. In the classic Michael Bay style, the film sacrifices substance for style. The original had both. It had the style to scare without needing to be too disgusting. Instead, it left our imaginations to assume the terrible.

While not on par with the original, the new version has some of the same excellent shooting style; however that is all it has. It may have the style but it can’t even begin to make up for the substance that original had. For example, in the 1974 version, the house that the kids were lured into was a nice, serine place that was painted white and looked to be a trusting place to ask for help - and there in lies the game. Now in the 2003 version, the set designers made the house into a dark, ominous looking castle that Dracula would feel at home in. The fear effect is lost there. We knew in the original that something bad was going to happen in that house, but the characters trusted it. Anyone who took one look at the house in the new version would have taken off running moments after laying eyes on it.

This is due to the screenwriter, Scott Kosar, who took it upon himself to change many of the great aspects of the original. In the original, the kids were making a pilgrimage to a cemetery to see if their grandfather's grave had been desecrated. Nispel and Kosar have their youngsters traveling to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, after coming back from a trip to Mexico to buy weed. Now that is a stereotype of young adults if I have ever seen one.

The original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is one of the greatest horror films of all time. It is in my personal list of favorites, after ‘The Exorcist’ and ‘The Shining’. It is such a shame that took a classic film that was genuinely scary and turned it into a standard slasher film in the tradition of the ‘Friday The 13^th’ series. If you are reading this and you have not yet seen the new version, don’t. See the original version instead; you will thank me later.